She ran a brush through her daughter’s hair.
“Mrs. Nevins?” The door opened a crack. “Do you need anything?”
“No, I’m…” She looked at her lap. “Silly me. I’ve left the elastic on the table. Could you reach it?” She pointed to the sparkly, green hair band.
“Of course.” The nurse stepped in, grabbing the elastic and handing it over the bed.
“She loves this bright color. What do you call it?”
“I’d say ‘neon’.” The nurse paused. “I’m calling Dr. Nate to get your meds, okay?”
“Can I finish braiding her hair before the medicine makes her leave?”
Flash Fiction Challenge over at Carrot Ranch
September 9 Prompt: Lost – In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story about someone or something that’s lost.
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….. just cause someone is alive only in your head, doesn’t make them any less real (to you anyway)
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You know what, Beaton? You’re right. That is so true. It makes her happy to spend time with her “daughter”.
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Oh, that’s so sad. The story builds to an unexpected crescendo. Well done Sarah
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Thanks, Geoff. I’m glad. I had a tough time bringing this one down to 99 words and thought I lost (har) the ending there…
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Made it very punchy.
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Ha! Why do your stories never seem last minute!
This is so poignant, Sarah. It is interesting that Mrs Nevin is aware of her hallucination and can enjoy it. So sad. She’d probably rather not have the medications which will be her back to reality. I wonder what happened to her daughter.
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🙂 I don’t know. But I’ll take that as a compliment!
It is sad. I had a much longer version in my head, explaining things a bit more, answering questions about the daughter, etc. but, alas, with 99 words, this is what you get. (Her daughter died…I just don’t know how yet.)
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I know. The 99 word limit is a challenge isn’t it, but without it who knows how long we’d go on for. I did assume her daughter had died.
And it was definitely a compliment!
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Really powerful, Sarah, a very creative take on being lost.
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Oh, funny, I just saw your tags, and didn’t read this as mental illness (I guess because of the bed) but I thought it was something physical requiring powerful painkillers that would send her off her head!
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Interesting. That would make sense, too. However the reader interprets it, it’s all good. I have been writing slightly longer pieces and now can’t figure out how I ever fit an entire story so neatly into so few words. I really appreciate your comment. Thanks. 🙂
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That is a bittersweet kind of lost. At least she realizes it. Although maybe that isn’t any consolation. Beautiful flash.
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Bittersweet. Yes. Perfect word. Thank you, Ula.
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This is a very creative and real take on being lost. Capturing it in 99 words made it powerful – the message was clear. The story was not about her daughter – it was about her, brushing the hair. Lovely.
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Thanks, Kate. ❤ I really appreciate your comment. I struggled with this one a bit so glad to know it worked. (There's something about brushing hair, isn't there?)
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That packed a punch! Such an inventive way to express the pain, sorrow and madness of losing something so precious as one’s daughter. Yeah, I think I’d want to stay lost rather than medicated.
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I’m not sure. This is tricky. Especially because (at least at times) she’s aware of what’s happening to her. I might want to stay lost, too. But, knowing it’s not real, I might want to be medicated after awhile. It must get painful.
(As a side note, isn’t it odd that we become so attached to our characters that we speak of them as if they were real? Actually…these comments are all from writers. Never mind.) 😉
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