Hunger

 

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“You have to… You know…”

“What?”

Martin cringed. “Cut its head off.”

“Huh. Well that’s…” Jill squinted at the body. “Can’t we just bury it?”

“Nah, it’ll rise again.”

Jill thought about this. “So would it be a zombie?”

“No,” Martin said. Then, “Actually, I’m not sure.” He pulled out his phone. “I’ll Google it.”

“Cool.”

“Okay, here’s something. It says… Wait. Is this thing dead? I mean, again?”

Jill jumped away from the corpse. “I just assumed.”

“I think it is,” Martin stepped closer. “Looks dead. But I guess it would.” He glanced at his phone. “These sites are a mess. None agree on what will actually kill it. Look, I really think we should cut off the head.”

“With what?”

“Good point. I’ll ask Siri.” He stuck his face in front of the screen. “How do you cut off a vampire’s head? Argh! Hold on. She’s finding me places to get tire treads.”

“Any pictures of Edward yet?” Jill peeked over his shoulder. “Ooh…sparkly!”

“You know what, Siri?! Go f…”

“Don’t yell at her! She’s like an all-powerful genie. ‘Phenomenal cosmic powers. Itty-bitty living space‘.” She wiped a tear. “Aw, man, I loved Robin Williams.”

“Huh?”

“Disney? Aladdin?” She rolled her eyes. “The Genie!”

“Oh. Right, right,” Martin sniffed. “Yeah, Robin was great. Okay. Google it is then.”

As she waited, Jill rummaged through the cabinets. “What about garlic? It’ll buy us some time at least, won’t it?”

“Sure, sure. Do we have any?”

“We have, um, cloves, anise, mint, tons of salt, and…camomile.” She laughed. “We can make it herbal tea and calm it to death. Hey,” she grabbed a bottle, “who has anise?”

“We do, apparently.”

“What do we use it for?”

“No idea. Is there any garlic?”

“Nope. Sorry.” Jill unscrewed the lid and sniffed the mint. “Mmm. Minty.”

“You’re making me hungry.”

 

“Excuse me, I don’t mean to be rude but are you two drunk? Because I don’t drink. Alcohol, I mean.” The vampire licked its teeth.

 

 

#Blogbattle is a weekly writing prompt for flash/short stories hosted by Rachael Ritchey 

Week 26 Prompt: Head
Genre: Humor

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36 thoughts on “Hunger

  1. Pingback: #BlogBattle “Head” Entries & Voting | Writing Rachael Ritchey

  2. hahaha nicely done ^_^ if it was a meal that is, yeah I am hungry.
    I was laughing as I read this, and I loved Aladdin watched it countless times Google is like some lamp genie, I was googling how to herd cattle, googling thats a word right? I used it and spellchecker did not give me a red squiggly line so it must be a word
    ~B

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks. 😀 It was fun to write this one, for sure. Now… I think “googling” is a word. I’ve used it as a verb. People know what you mean though I’m not sure it’s technically a word in the Oxford Dictionary or anything. Maybe it is. *sigh* What has become of our culture?

      Like

  3. :D…loved the whole Siri thing…tire treads, LOL. Also loved the shout out to Robin Williams. I Love Aladdin!! I finished that line in my head with out reading the whole thing…my family is fluent in movie quotes. Great story!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Blog Battle 72 “Vampire” Entries & Voting | BlogBattle

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