When I was little, I wanted to visit the moon.
My mother laughed. Not in that way the other mothers laughed at their kids. Their laughter sounded like chickadees or Christmas bells. And they looked at their sons and daughters, ruffling hair or kissing cheeks, as if to say, “Aren’t they cute?” My mother’s chuckling didn’t say, “Isn’t she cute?” It was a combination of dismissal and disappointment. I never knew how someone could make laughter sound so unpleasant.
My father explained the distance between the earth and the moon. He was “practical” and had no patience for dreamers. That is to say, he had no patience for me.
My grandparents said I was spoiled. Which had nothing to do with the moon, really, but they never missed a chance to say it.
My teacher smiled and told me about astronauts. Which is exactly the sort of person she was. I should have expected her to do something like that. Instead of asking more about traveling to the moon, I demanded to know why she was telling me this. Then I cried and asked if I could live with her and she got that look on her face like when she had to send someone to the principal’s office. She didn’t call on me for the rest of the year. I remember being young, wanting things I couldn’t have. I remember Ms. Haley. And I know she remembers me.
#BlogBattle is a monthly writing prompt for flash fiction/short stories hosted by Rachael Ritchey.
Join in. Write a story. Read the stories.
Prompt: Moon
So glad I saw this tonight, Sarah. We were just talking about flash fiction at dinner tonight. I do enjoy your stories!
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I’m glad you saw it too, then. I’m wicked curious how flash came up at dinner. Who was talking about it? Why? Were you eating something that made you think of a flash story? 🙂 Thank you!
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Absolutely gorgeous!
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Thanks, Liz! 🙂
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How do you manage sad poignant and then psychopathic creepy in a few paragraphs? No, don’t tell me. You might say you know where I live…
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Awww… Best. Compliment. Ever. (I was going to say, ‘Then I’d have to kill you…’ but I also know where you live so…) 😉 Thanks, Geoff.
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Wonderful writing, Sarah, and so sad and poignant too. You made me want to hug that little person and listen to her dreams. 🙂
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Aw, thanks, Diana. ❤ I know, right? I tend to wind up writing pieces where I want to hug the little people in the story. Your "Caught" flash… Ugh! Heartbreaking and gorgeous. My kind of story. 😉
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Thanks for reading!
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Pingback: #BlogBattle Stories: Moon | BlogBattle
Brilliant. #mast ❤
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Thank you, my friend. #mast ❤
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That reads like part of a book excerpt with a remembrance of a child reflecting on growing up. As Geoff said, it draws sadness in very quickly. Not sure about psychiatric creepy though because it’s exactly the sort of unspoken thought children have when comparing uncaring parents with someone who shows an interest. A sort of emotional transfer. You then built in the teachers reaction too. Helping and getting antsy when a pupil crosses a line with something that could cause trouble if it was pursued.
Great writing 😊
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One of the things I love about flash fiction is that it hints at things. Readers can interpret stories in different ways – have a different ending in mind or a different backstory. It’s wonderful.
Yes. The teacher. Wasn’t sure where that was going to go but…there she was. Dealing with a student who has crossed a line and not being able to work with the parents on it. Not good.
Thanks so much, Gary. 🙂
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Very true. I often use flash fiction to explore backstory ideas that I can piece together at a later date to use alongside a WIP.
The teacher was a fascinating character to read. I imagine it happens more than we think where lines are crossed and it all becomes very complicated very quick.
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I think it does happen. I taught and it never happened to me but I assume it happens, like you said, more than we think. Very complicated and not a good situation to be in.
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There’s science fiction moon stories, werewolf moon stories, and then absolute gems like this, which turn the crutch of genre on its head.
A brief yet astute examination of childhood relationships through memory, not solely focused on the moon (the inclusion of the grandparents’ opinions make for a more realistic narrator) but elegantly tied together all the same.
Bravo.
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Thank you so much! What a lovely comment.
You know, I had the grandparents in there just like this and thought I should write more about them but, eh, I didn’t want to. That was their take on the situation. Much appreciated.
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Ahhhhh, just what I was looking for. You have such a gift, Sarah. I agree with Geoff. haha 🙂
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Thanks, Rachael! Lovely thing to say. ❤
Yeah, Geoff always sees the dark in my writing. I don't know why. 😉 It's nice to have Blog Battle back. Thanks for setting this up again.
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❤ And Geoff is such a positive fella! 😀 I'm glad it's back and that you are!
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Oh, I too want to hug the little one telling this tale. 😦 You caught the emotions of the situation perfectly.
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I know…I do, too. Thank you. ❤
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Wow!
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Aw… Thanks, Anne. ❤
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I’m late, but I’m pleased. I got to read all these lovely comments, too. I agree, Sarah. This is a very clever piece and, of course, I want to hug that little child too, but you know, as a teacher, those hugs can be misinterpreted. For some, they may as well be sent to the moon. They are definitely sent into isolation. Lovely writing. I hope I get to read more of it soon.
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Never too late. 🙂 Glad you liked it. I knew you’d want to hug the child. Sometimes these little stories pour out and I ache for the characters.
I have *so* many micro and flash pieces I’ve expanded into…well…longer micro and flash because the characters stayed with me. Perhaps I will write a bit more of this one. Thanks, Norah.
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I was hoping you’d say the stories were organised into your third book. 🙂
Yes, Sarah, I think this is a story and character worthy of more attention. I look forward to reading it.
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You just made my day, Norah. My week! I’ve been back-and-forth over which project to work on next and my short story collection is something I’ve been working on for a long time but keeps getting pushed out of the way. Thank you. ❤
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Yay! Now you’ve made my day, Sarah. Can’t wait to read. 🙂
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🌚💙
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Hi Sarah!
This is a wonderful piece of flash fiction.
The pacing is perfect…and I also love the tone!
I read about your book on Loni’s blog, my curiosity was duly piqued so I purchased Hinting At Shadows… and then decided to pop over.
Nice to meet you.
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Just found your comment. Apologies.
Thank you! Loni is fab and am thrilled you got Hinting at Shadows. Much appreciated and hope you enjoy it. ❤ Nice to meet you, as well.
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i love it!!
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Thanks!
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