writing

TBR Piles Plot Your Demise 📚 🔪 😱

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Most of us have an unmanageable TBR pile. Some of us aren’t reading quickly enough to put a dent in it. A lot of us are adding to it. It’s pretty simple mathematics or statistics or physics (I don’t know how those work). And the truth is…it’s going to eventually kill you.

Logic:

If you have a pile of unread books and you’re not reading them, they will sit on your shelf. If you’re buying more books, those will squish in alongside the books you already have on the shelf. If you continue to get new books, they will sit on top of the books you have, then in front of the books you have, possibly spilling over onto a nearby table (or four) and onto the floor. When you are hopping over hardcovers and ducking under paperbacks, you know you’ve lost control. Your love of books has blinded you and now it is too late. (You have literary Gremlins.) These books simply cannot stay perched atop the precarious pile any longer. Whether they trap you in a corner, suffocate you, or come crashing down on your head…they will eventually kill you.

Math:

Word problems are fun. (See what I did there? You know, because a toppling TBR pile is a problem. With words. Get it? Okay, let’s go.) There are 1000 books on your shelf. 1 book is taken off the shelf and read. 20 more books are purchased and added to the shelf. 5 books are taken off the shelf and read. 10 are received as gifts (lucky you) then 25 more books are purchased and 5 read. (If you subtract 1 from 1000 then add 20 then subtract 5 then add 10 and add another 25, then subtract 5 they actually defy the laws of math and multiply…and eventually kill you.)

Story:

Once upon a time, people and books lived together in harmony. They got along swimmingly. They were similar in a lot of ways and respected each other. After some indeterminate amount of time had passed (because this is too short to get into the history of it all), people forgot that books had feelings. People treated books poorly, bending their pages, breaking their spines, piling them in stacks on the floor, and, worst of all, leaving them to gather dust. The books felt unloved, neglected, and angry. Those tricky YA trilogies, dastardly detective novels, and sneaky mysteries gathered fellow books for a revolt. People began to get that uneasy sensation of being watched. Began to imagine books were glaring at them from shelves, tables, and floors. Under the careful watch of sweet romances (they’re the ringleaders), deadly plots were hatched (pun completely intended), and plans were carried out. Moral: TBR piles will eventually kill you.

Story in Emojis:

📚 😊

📚📚 😍

📚📚📚 😟

📚📚📚📚 😳

📚📚📚📚📚 🔪 😱

📚📚📚📚📚 🔪 💀

This silliness is in response to Diana’s awesome writing prompt about TBR piles. Check out her post here:

Diana’s awesome writing prompt

“The End” #SoCS

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I had just typed “The End”, not because I’d actually use that in my novel but because I wanted to see it. I wanted those two words to satisfy me in a stick-to-your-ribs kind of way. I’d finished. Done. Complete. 

Except, as I hit the “d”, my finger lingered over the key. I had a sinking feeling. Shit. What was that? Why? Where was the relief? The satisfaction?

There would be no pat on the back or job well done today because, whether I wanted to admit it or not, I knew what was happening. My story had just started. There’d be a lot of shredding going on today. Because “The End” was the beginning. 

 

 

 

 

Having a bit of fun playing in Linda G. Hill’s SoCS (Stream of Consciousness Saturday) prompt. No planning? No editing? Yes, please! 

This week’s prompt: Write about the beginning of something and the end of something. Bonus points if your first sentence contains “the end” and your last sentence contains “the beginning.” 

 

*No editing allowed in the #SoCS but, alas, there was a teensy bit. I cut out some of the curse words as I’m not sure they’re allowed (and there were more than a few). Jeepers, I didn’t think to ask that. Shame on me. I should know better. Because. Me. 🙂

At the Zoo

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“C’mon, Sarah, let’s go.”

“Be right there. Just reading one more post.”

“Argh. Fine. But at least try to make it quick.”

“No problem. Two minutes.”

“Pfft. Right. I’ll give you five and you still won’t be done.”

“I will. Promise.”

“Not likely. Hey, let’s make this interesting. Care to wager a bet?”

“Sure. You can even time me on your stupid ‘smart’ phone app thing.”

“Already started.”

“Almost done.”

“Tick. Tock. Will you look at the clock. Tsk. Four minutes and she’s still on the laptop.”

“Uh…”

“Oh no. Five minutes! Ha! I win.”

“Uh… So did I.”

 

Dialogue-only, 99-word flash. That’s what that is up there. Also, it’s a post about my recent win at the Carrot Ranch Rodeo.

The challenge, as you can guess, was to write a 99-word flash with only dialogue. Yikes. And, for added torture fun, the judge, Geoff Le Pard, gave us a picture prompt: 🐢

I somehow managed to pull off a win (actually, two wins since the judging was blind and they had no idea who wrote which story). Yeah, I know. It’s kind of shocking. Also, kind of cool.

The 2nd place flash is slightly darker (and a bit sad) as I’m wont to write. 1st place is slightly humorous (and a bit fun) as I’m less wont to write. 🙂 Here they are for your dining pleasure:

AT THE ZOO

 

“Mr. Le Pard?”

“He’s not here.”

“Isn’t that him?”

“Yes. It is.”

“Okay. Well I need to deliver—”

“He’s not here at the moment.”

“But he’s right there. You just said.”

“He’s probably at the park…maybe the zoo.”

“Excuse me?”

“You must be new.”

“Well, yes. Today’s my first day. I’m Susan. I told him that earlier but he called me Shelley.”

“Ah, the zoo it is then. He’s off visiting his friend, Shelley, the tortoise. No telling when he’ll be back. Just leave the lunch tray, Susan. One of the nurses can bring his meds back later.”

 

LET ME SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU

 

“Mommy, that man’s kissing the tortoise.”

“He’s not kiss…oh, dear God. Zookeeper!”

“What seems to be the problem, Ma’am?”

“The turtle—”

“Ah, yes. Sad state of affairs, that is. And it’s a tortoise.”

“What are you going to do about it?”

“Not much I can do, you understand.”

“I do NOT understand.”

“Can’t just magically change the situation, now can I?”

“You must do something. The turtle—”

“Tortoise.”

“Whatever! Stop giggling, Jenny.”

“Don’t worry, Ma’am. We’ve hired a witch to reverse the spell. Should be here next week. He’ll have his wife back then. Enjoy your day.”

 

Featured On the Reef ~ Sacha Black

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On the Reef is a series featuring fabulous indie authors from around the blogosphere and beyond. Titles, covers, and blurbs that catch my eye, new releases, great reads… Basically, authors I’d like to highlight and works I’d like to share with my fellow book-loving word nerds. Happy Reading!

 

New Release

 

Keepers by Sacha Black

The Eden East Series
(Book 1)

When her parents are murdered, the realm of Trutinor is threatened. Then a mysterious human arrives and changes everything.

As Eden’s world spirals out of control, she doesn’t need a charismatic Siren from her past returning to complicate life.

Now, saving Trutinor is the last thing on Eden’s mind.

Three boys.
Two murdered parents.
One deadly choice.

 

Out today! Get your copy here 🙂

 

About Sacha:

Sacha Black has five obsessions; words, expensive shoes, conspiracy theories, self-improvement, and breaking the rules. She also has the mind of a perpetual sixteen-year-old, only with slightly less drama and slightly more bills.

Sacha writes books about people with magical powers and other books about the art of writing. She lives in Hertfordshire, England, with her wife and genius, giant of a son.

When she’s not writing, she can be found laughing inappropriately loud, blogging, sniffing musty old books, fangirling film and TV soundtracks, or thinking up new ways to break the rules.

Website / Blog
Amazon Author Page

 

 

On the Reef: The Shark’s Friday Feature

 

Flash Fiction Contests

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Check out the flash fiction contests this month at Carrot Ranch. They start today and a new one is up every Tuesday and Thursday.

 

 

Click here to see the information for each contest.

There’s something for everyone.

Pick one (or more) and join in.

Free to enter. $25 prizes.

 

Go write some flash! 🙂 #FFRodeo

 

Selfless #Flash4Storms

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Night is soft, quiet, speaking in layered moonlight.

Listen.

She whispers through trees, between branches.

Do not be afraid. You are not alone…

Beautiful darkness soothes us even though she knows it is her that we fear.

 

 

Written for the hurricane relief flash fiction challenge over at Lemon Shark. I’ve just raised the first $1. 🙂 See? That was easy. Hope you join in.

#Flash4Storms

#LemonSharkCharity

 

Featured On the Reef ~ Sacha Black

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On the Reef is a series featuring fabulous indie authors from around the blogosphere and beyond. Titles, covers, and blurbs that catch my eye, new releases, great reads… Basically, authors I’d like to highlight and works I’d like to share with my fellow book-loving word nerds. Happy Reading!

 

New Release

 

13 Steps to Evil by Sacha Black

How To Craft Superbad Villains

Your hero is not the most important character in your book. Your villain is.

Are you fed up of drowning in two-dimensional villains? Frustrated with creating clichés? And failing to get your reader to root for your villain?

In 13 Steps to Evil, you’ll discover:

+ How to develop a villain’s mindset

+ A step-by-step guide to creating your villain from the ground up

+ Why getting to the core of a villain’s personality is essential to make them credible

+ What pitfalls and clichés to avoid as well as the tropes your story needs

Finally, there is a comprehensive writing guide to help you create superbad villains. Whether you’re just starting out or are a seasoned writer, this book will help power up your bad guy and give them that extra edge.

These lessons will help you master and control your villainous minions, navigate and gain the perfect balance of good and evil, as well as strengthening your villain to give your story the tension and punch it needs. If you like dark humour, learning through examples and want to create the best villains you can, then you’ll love Sacha Black’s guide to crafting superbad villains.

Read 13 Steps to Evil today and start creating kick-ass villains.

Get your copy here 🙂

 

About Sacha:

 

Sacha Black has five obsessions; words, expensive shoes, conspiracy theories, self-improvement, and breaking the rules. She also has the mind of a perpetual sixteen-year-old, only with slightly less drama and slightly more bills.

Sacha writes books about people with magical powers and other books about the art of writing. She lives in Hertfordshire, England, with her wife and genius, giant of a son.

When she’s not writing, she can be found laughing inappropriately loud, blogging, sniffing musty old books, fangirling film and TV soundtracks, or thinking up new ways to break the rules.

Website / Blog
Amazon Author Page

 

On the Reef: The Shark’s Featured Author

 

Circle of Death

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Each tweet, alone, is a micro with beginning, middle, and end. But, together, they make a little story.

I can collect tweets and create a post. Normally, they’d be from different dates, have different hashtags, and be inspired by different prompts.

For this one, though, I wrote a few silly tweets yesterday to use as an example for the ‘Embedding Tweets’ post on Lemon Shark. (And it was fun…) 🙂

 

Cerambycidae

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I feel them crawl over my skin before I see them.

Looking up, I notice hundreds of insects skitter across my floor, up the walls. They are everywhere. I want to scream. To call for help. But I don’t.

I study one on my left arm and become entranced with its bright, colored spots and antennae.

I have a memory of school where I learned about this species. The common name, ‘longhorn beetle’, fits well as the antennae extend past the end of their bodies. It’s fascinating. I lean in for a closer look but see only my bare arm.

 

 

Flash Fiction Challenge over at Carrot Ranch

May 25, 2017 prompt: Longhorn – In 99 words (no more, no less) that includes a longhorn. You can go with any of its meanings or make it a name of a person or organization. Cheese or cattle, technology or place, what can you create from the western icon?

 

Sarah Brentyn Reef 99 Words - sig

Evil Stepmother Support Group ~ One Year Anniversary

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MAY 2017

 

The Misunderstood Stepmoms, a support group started by Cinderella’s stepmother, Caroline, celebrated its one-year anniversary this weekend.

“We were pleased with the turnout,” she said. “And we’re proud that this little group has been around for an entire year.”

Caroline’s statement may be a bit modest. The group is not only still around but, in fact, has swelled to over 600 members. Rumors of branches being formed throughout the country have been circulating for months.

We caught up with Gothel, Rapunzel’s adoptive mother, who had to travel quite a distance for the meetings and recently started a local chapter near her.

“It was good while it lasted but it’s been shut down,” she waved her hand dismissively. “Apparently, I’m not technically a ‘stepmother’. According to some people.”

The “some people” Gothel spoke of are the original three members: Snow White’s, Hansel and Gretel’s, and Cinderella’s stepmothers.

Gothel was awarded legal guardianship of Rapunzel in 2003 but, sources say, there may be evidence the document was faked.

A follow-up with the groups’ founder, Caroline, shed some light on the situation.

“I don’t want to throw stones,” she said, “but, yes, we’ve banned Gothel from our meetings and stripped her of any rights to use our name in future group settings. It’s not entirely about her stepmother status, although it has come to our attention that she is in a cauldron of trouble in regards to how Rapunzel came to be in her care. We, personally, have had…issues with her behavior. I can’t say too much due to an ongoing legal matter. And I want to emphasize that we are a caring group of women.”

Cinderella’s stepmom said, “Caroline’s too nice for her own good. Gothel is nuts. Some stepmothers have a reputation for a reason. Poor Rapunzel. ‘Adoptive mother’, my ass.”

Allegedly, Gothel had lost her temper during a meeting in early May, causing damage to the building and endangering members of the group.

When asked about the incident, Caroline admitted a few of the members were injured during “what can only be described as an ‘attack’.” She has since added a clause to her online ad about the group stating “zero tolerance for violence, magical or otherwise” and plans to hold an emergency meeting to focus on maintaining a safe and supportive environment for The Misunderstood Stepmoms.

 

The group meets once a week, on Wednesdays, and any mistreated stepmother is welcome. There is no fee for membership. Apple tart and herbal tea will be provided. Contact Caroline for more information.
UPDATE: Due to recent events, the location of meetings has been changed from the Fuji Warehouse in downtown Darby to the Braeburn Building on Main Street.