Three months after a whirlwind marriage, the local princess, Penelope, finally pins down the cause of her poor health. “Pea sensitivity,” she says. The princess recalls running to the home of the royal family seeking refuge from a violent thunderstorm. “After I dried off, we had a nice dinner and they invited me to stay.”
The queen then allegedly hid a dried pea underneath the princess’s mattress which was found by a maid the following morning. “Who puts a piece of produce in your bed?” the princess asked. “The woman is nuts.”
“I broke out in hives and had to use major amounts of makeup for the wedding. I looked like a cranberry pancake,” she cried.
The queen, saddened by what she calls “the loss of my son to that gold-digger”, claims the princess married the prince for money. “It is widely known that the girl’s father lost his fortune gambling on fantasy football.”
“We’ve been living in our own place for about two months,” the princess said. “Haven’t had a rash since. Well, except for that time my mother-in-law visited and insisted on helping with dinner.”
The prince declined to be interviewed but would say that Dr. Daniel Fabaceae diagnosed the allergy, insisting that it is severe and could be fatal.
The queen scoffed at the newly diagnosed legume sensitivity but is scheduling another visit to the happy couple’s home next week with some beanbag chairs as a belated wedding gift.
#Blogbattle is a weekly writing prompt for flash/short stories hosted by Rachael Ritchey
Week 24 Prompt: Legumes
Genre: Satire/Humor
Lemon Shark Reef 