She never had a home.
Not as an infant, left in soiled diapers. Or as a child, drawing pictures on the dusty floor of her closet.
Not even when they took her to a real house with her own bedroom, a kitchen that had food in it, and two grownups who tucked her in at night.
She was broken.
Filled with so much shame she felt stuffed. Like a guilty scarecrow with clean clothes.
Maybe they rescued the wrong girl. Maybe if they had gotten her out when she was younger. Maybe then, she’d feel at home here.
Maybe.
Flash Fiction Challenge over at Carrot Ranch
June 22, 2016 prompt: Home – In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story about home. What is it? How does it impact a character? Explore the idea of home from any spark that creates a story.
Brilliant, as always, and wrenching.
“Maybe they rescued the wrong girl.” is a gut-punch line.
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Thanks. ❤️ Next time, wear protective gear when reading.
ETA: (You know…that line just sitting there. I’m seeing it differently. It is kinda harsh. In a good way, if that makes sense. Thanks for pointing that one out. I may have to use it in my WIP.)
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Wow
Don’t have to tell you that this grabs me by the heart.
Wonderfully done, Sarah. #mast❤
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Damn. Heart-grabbing and gut-punching. Um. Yeah, that’s what I was going for.
These are compliments I love though. ❤️ #mast
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❤
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I cling to a little hope in the last maybe.
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That’s nice. Hope. Thanks, Geoff. 🙂
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Like Geoff, I see hope in that last maybe, but clean clothes and rescuing don’t always make the neglected babe in soiled diapers feel right. Shame is a stuffing that takes time to replace. Well-written!
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Thanks, Charli. Yes, let’s cling to some hope here for this dark piece. You are so right that shame takes time to replace. ❤
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Four walls, a roof and people, even if they care about you, don’t make a home. Belonging makes a home. “She was broken.” – simple, and 3 words that said it all. I love the way you end with hope – “Maybe.” Great flash Sarah. 🙂
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You’re right. “even if they care about you…” it’s still not a home. Not yet. Not when you feel broken. But I like that so many are seeing hope in that last “Maybe”. Thanks, Kate. ❤
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I love these lines, Sarah: Filled with so much shame she felt stuffed. Like a guilty scarecrow with clean clothes.
Interesting thought – feeling stuffed with straw, but empty at the same time. Who hasn’t ever felt “they” took the wrong baby home. While this little one had such a distressing beginning, many feel they don’t belong, even when they are cared for. The emptiness is inside. Only we can fill it. Great story on the surface, and analogy underneath; even if it is sad and distressing.
How can you do that in 99 words – pull at our heart-strings so?
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For some reason, I thought you would like the scarecrow analogy. It’s true that, sometimes, we don’t feel like we belong even if people love us and care for us.
I do love flash. It’s a fantastic way to practice the craft having such strict word count. Thank you. ❤️
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🙂 You obviously know me very well. I love to see how much story you can weave into 99 words.
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Thanks, Norah. ❤️
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Really? Jesus you know how to punch a girl where it hurts. What an emotional heart wrencher. *wipes tears*
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Sorry. Didn’t mean to punch. Glad you liked it. ❤️ Thanks.
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Was sooo good 😍
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Thanks. 🙂 ❤️💜💛💙💚 <— Emoji fest.
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I enjoyed this, Sarah, but unlike others I’m not looking for the hope. I think it can take an awful lot of love to undo a bad beginning, and you express it really well in this concise story.
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Thanks, Anne. Honestly…I wasn’t feeling hopeful when I wrote this. It was a sort of “if only”. But I like that different readers put their own spin on it. The response was really interesting. About 1/2 and 1/2.
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A stuffed scarecrow…. yes. Wish I had thought of that. I could make that work. Not, like how you presented it; such begging isolation. Quit breaking our hearts. Which means, your work here was great!!
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Thanks. 🙂 Yeah, the stuffed scarecrow…so filled with shame. I’m not sure how one would get over that. With time. Maybe.
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Pingback: Home on the Range « Carrot Ranch Communications
I too loved the guilty scarecrow comparison. Beautifully dark~
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Thank you. 💕
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I am in the mood to cry. I was not rescued – from the supposed family that was supposed to be my support. And yet I have managed to artfully create my own home.
Too many believe that they cannot be loved. Yet once the heart is opened with hope – love is a very strong possibility!
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Jules. ❤ Oh, you've got me teary now. You are amazing. Too right that many believe they can't be loved…but it IS possible. Yes, there is hope. ((( ❤ ))) Thank you.
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While I am sure there are many who have wonderful growing up experiences – Often others learn what not to do from how they are ‘brought up’. Transforming the ugly to the beautiful is the art of hope.
Hugs, Jules
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This is gorgeous: “Transforming the ugly to the beautiful is the art of hope.” 💗 (((Hugs)))
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Thanks for ‘sending’ this back – I was able to save it and share it with another friend. ((Hugs)) back!
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amazing! sometimes the damages are too shattering for the children! simply amazing!
mine is here
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Hi there! Thanks so much. I’m off to read yours but here is where you post your entries: Carrot Ranch They’re a friendly group of writers and you’ll be more than welcome. 🙂 New theme each week and you’re not too late for this week’s theme: Cats. Have fun and hope to see you there!
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Beautifully done!
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Thank you!
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