Maybe

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She never had a home.

Not as an infant, left in soiled diapers. Or as a child, drawing pictures on the dusty floor of her closet.

Not even when they took her to a real house with her own bedroom, a kitchen that had food in it, and two grownups who tucked her in at night.

She was broken.

Filled with so much shame she felt stuffed. Like a guilty scarecrow with clean clothes.

Maybe they rescued the wrong girl. Maybe if they had gotten her out when she was younger. Maybe then, she’d feel at home here.

Maybe.

 

 

Flash Fiction Challenge over at Carrot Ranch

June 22, 2016 prompt: Home – In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story about home. What is it? How does it impact a character? Explore the idea of home from any spark that creates a story.


Sarah Brentyn Reef 99 Words - sig

 

35 thoughts on “Maybe”

    • Thanks. ❤️ Next time, wear protective gear when reading.

      ETA: (You know…that line just sitting there. I’m seeing it differently. It is kinda harsh. In a good way, if that makes sense. Thanks for pointing that one out. I may have to use it in my WIP.)

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  5. Four walls, a roof and people, even if they care about you, don’t make a home. Belonging makes a home. “She was broken.” – simple, and 3 words that said it all. I love the way you end with hope – “Maybe.” Great flash Sarah. 🙂

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    • You’re right. “even if they care about you…” it’s still not a home. Not yet. Not when you feel broken. But I like that so many are seeing hope in that last “Maybe”. Thanks, Kate. ❤

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  6. I love these lines, Sarah: Filled with so much shame she felt stuffed. Like a guilty scarecrow with clean clothes.
    Interesting thought – feeling stuffed with straw, but empty at the same time. Who hasn’t ever felt “they” took the wrong baby home. While this little one had such a distressing beginning, many feel they don’t belong, even when they are cared for. The emptiness is inside. Only we can fill it. Great story on the surface, and analogy underneath; even if it is sad and distressing.
    How can you do that in 99 words – pull at our heart-strings so?

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    • Thanks, Anne. Honestly…I wasn’t feeling hopeful when I wrote this. It was a sort of “if only”. But I like that different readers put their own spin on it. The response was really interesting. About 1/2 and 1/2.

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  9. A stuffed scarecrow…. yes. Wish I had thought of that. I could make that work. Not, like how you presented it; such begging isolation. Quit breaking our hearts. Which means, your work here was great!!

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  10. Pingback: Home on the Range « Carrot Ranch Communications

  12. I am in the mood to cry. I was not rescued – from the supposed family that was supposed to be my support. And yet I have managed to artfully create my own home.

    Too many believe that they cannot be loved. Yet once the heart is opened with hope – love is a very strong possibility!

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    • Hi there! Thanks so much. I’m off to read yours but here is where you post your entries: Carrot Ranch They’re a friendly group of writers and you’ll be more than welcome. 🙂 New theme each week and you’re not too late for this week’s theme: Cats. Have fun and hope to see you there!

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