Evil Stepmother Support Group

 

Stepmother Support Group - sig

 

A new support group started up this week in downtown Darby. They call themselves “The Misunderstood Stepmoms”.

The group is led by Snow White’s stepmother, Caroline, who is fed up with all the hostility.

For years, she was despised and discounted, never being asked to join local book clubs or invited to a girls’ night out. Following this past Mother’s Day weekend, Caroline decided enough was enough.

Needless to say, she did not receive flowers or a card on Sunday.

About Snow, she said, “The girl pigged out on junk food. She was always walking around with her hand stuck in a bag of corn chips or jellybeans. I gave her some fresh fruit and, yes, that included an apple. She took one bite and pretended to choke on it, falling down and accusing me of trying to poison her. The girl didn’t want to eat healthy. End of story.”

Caroline went on to say, “I heard similar accounts of stepmothers being unfairly bashed so I created a safe space for them to talk and share their feelings.”

Cinderella’s stepmom claims she tried for years to get her teenage stepdaughter to “take a bath and change her damn clothes.”

While Hansel and Gretel’s stepmom says she spent months warning her stepchildren not to wander into the woods before their disappearance. “They came home with some cock-and-bull story about a candy house and a kitchen witch. Everyone knows kitchen witches live in the city,” she said. In both cases, these women were blamed for the unfortunate state of their stepchildren.

“Sadly, these stories are not unique.” Caroline said. The three founding members were joined by fifteen others for their inaugural meeting. While there is no official motto for the group yet, Caroline said, “We want women to know that they are not alone.”

When asked about the group dynamics, Caroline admitted there is some tension. “We have a mix. There are a few members with anger management issues, while others are simply disheartened. But, for a first meeting, things went extremely well. We are a supportive bunch and provide a much-needed sense of community.”

The group will meet once a week, on Wednesdays, and any mistreated stepmother is welcome. There is no fee for membership. Apple tart and herbal tea will be provided. Contact Caroline for more information.

 

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49 thoughts on “Evil Stepmother Support Group

  1. OH MY GOD THIS IS F**KING genius. PLEASE please tell me that every Wednesday were going to see an excerpt from their group? This would make the best damn serial ever. Kind of reminds me of Cinders a bit Marissa Meyer – u read it?

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Pingback: For You on Mother’s Day | Lemon Shark

  3. Excellent! Have I read this via your old site or at least something similar? I could’ve sworn I’ve read this piece of yours before. It was published somewhere, someone else’s page or blog, and you linked to it. I swear…

    P.S. I went internet stalking and though the link isn’t active anymore, I did find it categorized under Grimm Report! I knew I wasn’t crazy!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes. 🙂 I wrote a few pieces for Grimm Report but, unfortunately, the site isn’t active anymore. It was run by Eric Wilder (who wrote a book of fairy tale satire called I, Humpty). Fairy tale satire is completely underrated, IMO. It’s so fun. I’ve written a bunch of these now.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post and perfect for Mother’s Day (although a bit confusing for we Brits as we had ours before Easter). I love reworkings of traditional stories, Sarah, and have a version of Cinderella in the process of redrafting.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I know your Mother’s Day is earlier than ours but I figured it’s a fun piece regardless. Especially if you like fairytales. Love retellings! Cool that you’re working on one. Look forward to seeing it. 🙂

      Like

  5. Brilliant, Sarah. I thoroughly enjoyed the cleverness of it. Stepmoms get such a bad rap and I think fairy tales such as these must set the situations up to make life difficult for real-life step moms. I’ve never thought about it before. What did the brothers Grimm have against step moms? Did they have one themselves?
    I love fractured fairy tales and you do them well, my dear!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Right? The Grimm Bros. had serious stepmother issues. There are SO many and I can’t think of a single good one. Is it them or the time period they wrote in? Fairytales in general? A combination? I’m sure someone somewhere did a thesis on this.
      Thank you. I do have fun with these. Apple tart? 🍎 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • I totally could have fixed that comment but it’s funny so… #sorrynotsorry

        Ooh… I bet you know a ton of stepmothers in film who are vilified. I was so fixated on fairytales I hadn’t thought about it. (And thank you kindly.) 🍎

        Liked by 1 person

  6. That sounds like a much-needed support group. I’m sure it will be very helpful to a group of unfortunate individuals much maligned as evil and dangerous. What could be better for them than to talk about the fear and suspicion they face every day? I bet none of them touch the apple tart.

    Liked by 1 person

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