Three months after a whirlwind marriage, the local princess, Penelope, finally pins down the cause of her poor health. “Pea sensitivity,” she says. The princess recalls running to the home of the royal family seeking refuge from a violent thunderstorm. “After I dried off, we had a nice dinner and they invited me to stay.”
The queen then allegedly hid a dried pea underneath the princess’s mattress which was found by a maid the following morning. “Who puts a piece of produce in your bed?” the princess asked. “The woman is nuts.”
“I broke out in hives and had to use major amounts of makeup for the wedding. I looked like a cranberry pancake,” she cried.
The queen, saddened by what she calls “the loss of my son to that gold-digger”, claims the princess married the prince for money. “It is widely known that the girl’s father lost his fortune gambling on fantasy football.”
“We’ve been living in our own place for about two months,” the princess said. “Haven’t had a rash since. Well, except for that time my mother-in-law visited and insisted on helping with dinner.”
The prince declined to be interviewed but would say that Dr. Daniel Fabaceae diagnosed the allergy, insisting that it is severe and could be fatal.
The queen scoffed at the newly diagnosed legume sensitivity but is scheduling another visit to the happy couple’s home next week with some beanbag chairs as a belated wedding gift.
#Blogbattle is a weekly writing prompt for flash/short stories hosted by Rachael Ritchey
Week 24 Prompt: Legumes
Genre: Satire/Humor
love it!
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Thanks! 😀
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Great angle to take! Loved it. Gets my vote!
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This was ridiculously fun to write. Thanks!
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OMG this is so cleaver hahaha!
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😀 Thank you.
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Pingback: #BlogBattle Week 25 “Legumes” Entries & Voting | Writing Rachael Ritchey
I think I spy an allergy theme – first the onions, now the peas. Seems someone is out to use the allergy for their own evil purposes. I laughed so hard at this. It is a wonderful take on the princess and the pea story. I do so enjoy a good innovation on a text, and when humour is added it’s all the better. She’d better watch out for that vege soup. There might be some dried peas in with the lentils when the mother-in-law comes to stay! 🙂
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Hadn’t thought of that! Unintentional, I assure you. But now I wonder… Glad you liked it and had a good laugh. I did while writing it. 😉
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It’s always good to amuse yourself! 🙂
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Lol, love the news-report style! Not to mention the ending!
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Thanks! 😀
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Very good! a new twist on a well known fairy tale.
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A modern-day drama of the poor princess. 😀 Thanks!
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the princess and the legume sensitivity hahaha loved this, a spin on the old.
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Thanks. The princess, her legume sensitivity, and her murderous mother-in-law. A cautionary tale for all newlyweds? Get your own place!
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Dr. Fabaceae. Oh wow. X-D
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I am so happy someone mentioned that. Also, in case you wondered, I’m a complete nerd. 🙂
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So am I. That’s how I recognized it X-D *cheers madly for Linnaeus*
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LOL…great story!! 🙂
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Thank you! 🙂
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LOL That’s some royally nutty reporting! 🙂 Loved it, Sarah.
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You’re so punny. I love it. 😀 Royally nutty reporter at your service.
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🙂 Puns are my favorite.
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They’re like chocolate.
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Uh…yeah. Too much will make you sick.
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Ah, great minds… I thought of that after I wrote this comment. I was thinking they’re delicious and I can’t live without them but, yes, too much can make you sick.
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🙂
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Loved it. 😀 I liked how you wrote as a newspaper report. Clever angle to use. 🙂
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Thank you kindly, fellow battler! 😉
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I like the use of the fairytale for this prompt. Way to go! 😀
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Thanks! 😀
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You are more than welcome. 😀
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Hahaha! Clever! And I love the bit about losing the fortune on fantasy football. Great job.
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😀 Thanks! Yes, well…’tis the season.
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Pingback: Interview with “Troop” & “Legumes” Winner, Sarah Brentyn | Writing Rachael Ritchey
Sarah, I’m so glad you’ve joined the battles! I can’t believe it’s been six months that I’ve been hosting them. What a fun thing to have neat people such as yourself join in! Really is a thrilling and fun experience for me to get to know you! Thanks for joining in!
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So glad I found you all! Thanks for hosting these. They are so fun! Looking forward to next week’s prompt. 🙂
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Me, too, Sarah! In both cases. 🙂 ♡
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Love this! A princess with a legume allergy, brilliant, had me laughing! 🙂
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Thanks, fellow battler! These are so fun.
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You should do a book of fairy tale rewrites in this style. This is hilarious. You are talented. Funny is so hard to do.
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Thanks! These are really fun. I love writing them. I used to write fairy tale satire for Grimm Report (not active online anymore). Also, Eric Wilder wrote a book of these called I, Humpty. 🙂
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