“Aren’t you going to say something? Try to stop me?”
Chloe looked through the smudged window, pressing her fingers against the glass. She squinted for a moment. “No, I don’t think so.”
“But we’re not supposed to do this,” Emma slammed down the knife, her sleeve falling over raised, white scars. “I could get in trouble.”
“You could get a lot worse,” Chloe chuckled, “you could get dead.”
“This is funny? It’s your fault!”
“I know.” Chloe picked up the knife, handing it back to Emma. “You know my room assignment. I’ll be there if you want to talk.”
Flash Fiction Challenge over at Carrot Ranch
August 5 Prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less) write the common premise: “I ran over a deer (or other animal) and have decided to nurse it back to health.”
That’s powerful! What a sharp scene, with passion and tension.
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Thanks, Charli. 🙂 It definitely morphed into a metaphorical trying-to-save-the-animal-you-hurt story. Not sure if it worked for this prompt but I like the characters and feel like this is hinting at a longer story…
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It’s deep, that’s for certain. It makes me think, too, how uncomplicated a hurt animal is in comparison to a hurt person. Maybe that’s why we are drawn to help the animals we hurt — it’s easier!
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Ouch, I can almost feel that knife. You do like those bullying girls, don’t you, Sarah?
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Only in fiction. 😉 And, in fairness, she is trying to help…in her own screwed-up way.
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This flash cuts sharp and hard Sarah, you write a powerful story here. I like that you are hinting, as per your comment to Charli, to a longer story. I would love to see where you take us with this…
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As always, I didn’t mean for this story to become what it did but I like it. And now I want to know why it’s her fault and if she will be able to help and so many other things… Thanks, Sherri. 🙂
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Wow. What a snapshot of a hurting person. If only self-mutilation could be that easily dealt with. A strong and powerful flash.
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Thank you. I know, these flash fiction pieces can sometimes create an entire story in 99 words and other times be one snapshot in a missing album. It’s never easily dealt with. I’m not sure how this one will turn out…
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Possibly something to make longer. You might be as interested as I am to see what direction she will take.
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That is a tough story, Sarah. The tension is taut between Chloe and Emma. I wonder why it is Chloe’s fault that Emma wants to self-mutilate, and wants Emma to “fix” it for her. I’m curious about their relationship and what situations led Emma to the previous episodes of self-harm. Why does Emma appear detached?
Great flash.
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Yes, I thought of exploring this one more. What did Chloe do that they both agree it’s her fault Emma is cutting…or worse? Their relationship could be a simple case of manipulating a vulnerable person or could go much deeper. Chloe is definitely detached but is trying to “help” in the only way she can.
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Definitely room for a lot of exploration.
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Totally unexpected and unique take on the premise. Great job, Sarah! 🙂
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Thanks, Lori! 🙂
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